It’s on nights like these that I reach deep inside for hope, trusting that there is some piece of surviving, some bit of energy that I’ve overlooked in my previous struggles, a stowed bit of vigor that I might call upon to get me through this night. A few extra spoons tucked away for a rainy day. But I find tonight, like most nights, nothing in my stores of strength; no extra spoons anywhere to be found. I have nothing left to draw on. So instead I must stretch out what little energy I have and make it last until I’m able to sleep.
Spoonies are familiar with this struggle, this unfortunately familiar twisting of insides and stretching of self. We fight this battle every day. We spend weeks rationing bare numbers of spoons where others have them to spare. For us, each day is a struggle, each hour is an agony, even a minute is an eternity. Sometimes getting from one second to the next is all we can do. But we do it, and if we are wise, we celebrate it. We celebrate each second we survive without giving up, because each second we survive is one second more than we thought we could.
So tonight I celebrate as I survive each second, because one second is all I can handle at a time.
Let’s talk about something personal, ok? Showers and baths. We all know how exhausting they are for a Spoonie, but how can we work them for our benefit?
When I shower, I do it as quickly as possible. I use 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner because I don’t have the energy or time to sit in the shower waiting for conditioner to sit in my hair, and the arm motions of rubbing it in and washing it out are extremely tiring. Fortunately my hair is one of my better features and I don’t require expensive shampoo or conditioner to make it look good.
For my face and body I use a Norwex body cloth. It is this awesome microfiber cloth that has antibacterial properties in it. It helps me not get breakouts or get sick from a bacteria-infested washcloth or loofa in the shower. I used to have huge problems with breakouts before I started using it, but now my skin is clear! It’s nice to have one quick cloth to clean, and then I’m done.
When I take baths, I do it because my body is so achy that I need heat all over my body. When I bathe I use epsom salts. I don’t just put a few sprinkles of them in, I use a full cup of them, and that makes a huge difference all by itself. I also add my essential oils. There is a huge list of oils that you can use for baths for different reasons (to calm anxiety, to relax, to ease pain). When I bathe I use 2 drops of Rosemary oil, 2 drops of Wintergreen oil, 1 drop of Peppermint oil, 1 drop of Panaway oil, and 1 drop of Copaiba oil. These five oils are my go-to pain relieving oils and they smell AMAZING together. I soak for at least 20 minutes.
I’ve switched to microfiber towels that are antibacterial as well. Not only do my towels smell fresher, my body–where breakouts used to form–is clearing up. Those old dingy, bacteria infested towels are gone! It contributes to my overall health, which, as a Spoonie, is so important.
Do you have any tricks that you’ve come up with to get through showering and bathing more quickly or more painlessly? Comment and let me know!
So, I tried yoga today for the first time! Yes, for the first time! The reasons I haven’t tried yoga before are mostly due to fear that it’d hurt more than it’d help, but it was actually fun! I should have tried years ago! It goes onto a list of things that I should have tried years before I did, but put off for various reasons (stubbornness, fear, laziness, being the top 3). Here’s the beginning of my list:
- Nutella (seriously, that stuff is amazing)
- Essential Oils (you can read about how much I love them here)
- Game of Thrones (how did I not watch/read it earlier than this year!?)
- Experiencing God (it’s a Bible Study, it’s awesome)
But anyway, back to the yoga. Some of those moves should have different names, in my opinion. “beached whale” and “stuck, please help” comes to mind—at least in my case, but I can’t be the only one. Please, tell me I’m not the only one. The girl in the instruction video is so smooth and balanced and I’m in my living room wiggling and wavering and barely staying vertical while she just flows from one move to the other. It’s ridiculous how bad I am at it, but I have only just started, so I think it will take some time to get better. And to get in better shape.
It’s Valentine’s Day and once again I am single. That’s ok with me, though. I just got out of a relationship and I don’t really want to be in a relationship right now.
Dating is hard for Spoonies. Really hard. Meeting people is hard for anyone, but for spoonies it’s exceptionally hard because we leave the house so seldom. Then there is the dating itself, which is exhausting. That is all assuming you can find a person who doesn’t think that you’re a lazy, unattractive freak. I mean, we all know how hard it is to shower on a daily basis. Putting on makeup is a monumental task at times. Then there is the actual “out” part of going out. I barely go out as it is. Having to go out to dinner or lunch and sit straight and pretend I’m fine while using my brain to make lively conversation? That’s asking a lot.
But dating isn’t impossible for Spoonies. It might feel like it at times, but it’s actually pretty possible. With the right attitude and the right partner, anything is possible. So today, as you feel sad and alone, just remember, things are not hopeless. I’m rooting for you.